Review of 2016 and Hopes for 2017.

2016 started off horrifically. I was in hospital for depression and anxiety at the end of January and lost not just one but two of my best friends (they didn’t die, we just went our separate ways), after this I was in counselling and on medication which didn’t exactly make university and work easy, this difficult period lasted for about four months and left me in a slump. But during this time I discovered that I had friends in places I didn’t expect, my first year at university I didn’t make that much of an effort with people due to low confidence and generally feeling not good enough for people (completely my own issue, the people in my course are all amazingly lovely and didn’t cause me to feel like this in any way). When I confided to people in my university course they all rallied round and helped me feel so loved and cared for which I hadn’t felt in a very long time. I went on nights out with my uni friends, performed in society showcases and went to another society’s formal, I felt better in myself and more motivated to do things.

Summer came around and I started to feel the best I ever had since I can remember. I went on my first holiday overseas, to Paris, without my mum and devoured this new culture. I watched my cousin get married. I ran in the cancer research mud run, which I’ve wanted to do for ages. I saw Fall Out Boy and You Me At Six in concert. And I climbed the tallest mountain in Northern Ireland on my own (not much of an achievement but it really cleared my head). I entered into my third year of uni and things got better from there, I performed in “Jake’s Women” and in a musical theatre showcase, I got a promotion at work, had a party for my 21st and had an amazing Christmas and New Year surrounded by people I loved.

So where does this leave 2017? I welcomed in the New Year while working at an event for the club I work at followed by party at my friends house, in the morning I jumped into the sea for Cancer Focus with friends supporting me and came home to a lovely dinner with my family, so it’s been a good start so far. I’ve had a think about what I’d like to achieve this year and it is as follows:

1. Be better to my body – in 2016 I discovered I had a very unhealthy relationship with food and exercise, I was not eating enough and exercise far too much for the calories, or lack of, I was taking in. This changed over summer as I discovered a love of food, so naturally (and thankfully) I gained weight. But now I want to focus on having the healthiest body I can. Taking in loads of fruit and vegetables and having a strong body. My mum bought me a yoga mat on the 1st January and I’ve started my mornings doing a quick 10 minute yoga routine, so I hope to keep this up.
2. Challenge myself – I have a couple of ideas how to do this. I’ve signed up for Italian lessons, gotten an audition slot for a musical and plan to sign up for some runs.
3. Go on more adventures – I’ve already booked a holiday to see my friend in Liverpool next week and I’m hoping to go on a holiday with my university friends at the end of this university year as it is our final year together. Other than that I just want to explore everywhere I can as much as possible, and take as many photos as I can.
4. Sing more – I am on my second diploma in singing and I love doing it, so I’m going to look for ways I can do this more.
5. Read more – whether it’s books about my course, books about space or geography, or even fiction books. I want to broaden my knowledge and reading is a good way of doing this.
6. Blog more – Writing my thoughts down or being creative always helps me feel less stressed.
7. SAVE MONEY – this is more a demand to myself, rather than a hope that I’ll do this. I am planning to do a masters degree in 2018, but the course I want is in London so it’ll be expensive for me to live there and pay for tuition which is why I need to start saving now.
8. Make it the best year possible – everyone has crappy times, sadly it’s not something we can really avoid, but I want to throw myself into this year and make the most amazing memories I can make.

I was brave today.

I know when you read that title you’ll think I’ve done something monumental and live changing, but no, I uploaded a video of me singing to Facebook. 

I know this may not seem like a massive fear or anything of significance but to me it’s showing how far I’ve come from as little as 6 months ago. Despite my love of singing I never would have thought of showing anyone, despite people on my Facebook being my friends. I’m proud of myself today and that I didn’t let my low self esteem get the better of me today. Here’s the link in case anyone’s interested in listening: https://www.facebook.com/OriaMurray/posts/10204774464361828

Thanks! 

Projecting positivity.

I used to be the girl who’s Tumblr was full of sad, depressing posts about how I was feeling. It was a way of expressing myself in what, I thought, was the best way possible of dealing with my feelings, not that it can’t be for some just for me it wasn’t healthy, that was until I saw this post randomly pop up on my Facebook one day:

 

I know it’s not a revolutionary idea but I like the concept of projecting positivity into the world in order to make other people and yourself feel better. I’m not claiming it’s cured my depression and I feel 100% happy all the time now, I’m saying I feel a lot better. I post happy quotes now and again to my Instagram, share happy stories on my Facebook and send my friends photo’s of puppies if I think they’re having a ruff day (pardon the pun in was disgraceful, but I’m leaving it in).

I would love to challenge everyone to do a full seven days of posting positive quotes, stories or even pictures. If you don’t feel better from it then you can go back to posting things you normally post, but you can almost be sure you made someone else smile and if you do feel better from it then keep on doing it! The world could use some positivity in it!

(Just a disclosure if you genuinely think looking through happy quotes when you are down would make you feel worse then don’t do it, this is just something that helps me and I thought I’d share)

The Now.

I would like to express that the last few months have been hard. They have challenged me both mentally and physically and I struggled greatly. My mental state wasn’t great, a few bad things happened in my personal life and my work load at university all made it very difficult for me to be happy.

These last few months have also been rewarding as I became closer with friends who have been rocks to me and supported me through this tough time, I have made new friends and put myself out there. I have felt my confidence grow as I learnt to deal with each challenge I faced and have felt more hopeful for the future because of this. To write this with a positive spin on it is something I could have never imagined doing before, I was severely depressed and constantly thought about the negatives in my life. These last few months I have learnt how strong I am as a person and I am glad to be me. If anyone is going through anything similar I would encourage you to talk to a doctor or/and friends and family and not sit in a rut, I did that for years and if recent events had not pushed me to talk I don’t think I ever would have gotten myself out of it.

Now I am proud to be me and you should be proud to be you. Now I am looking to a much brighter future and planning on doing things without fear of other people’s thoughts and opinions. Life is short and I intend on making mine the happiest it can be despite it’s bad start.

 

Mental benefits of exercise.

Due to illness followed by a death in my family my exercise regime has gone down hill quite a bit in the last week, however I am still trying to do little bits when I feel up to it. As I am someone who has suffered from low moods for long periods of time I am no stranger to the fact that exercise does indeed help improve your mentality towards life even if it is slight.

The important thing about exercise when you’re feeling down is that you don’t pressure yourself to do too much, as that will just stress you out more. Simply try and do little things, for example I took my aunt’s dogs for a short walk as they were barking around the deceased family members house and just being a general nuisance. I didn’t go too far as it was with four dogs and the workout on my arms was pretty intense even with it being a short walk. If the dogs aren’t being an issue I’ve made a plan for myself to try and do just 10-20 minutes on the treadmill a day and some muscle workouts until I’m feeling better.

Even though I am not doing too much exercise the fact that I am doing some is helping me sleep a little better, giving me something to do to take my mind off things and I generally feel accomplished after I have done it. I am also hoping, that my short bursts of exercise will cause my appetite to resurface, which sounds logical that it would.

To anyone going through a tough time I would honestly advise doing a little bit of exercise, try to even make it fun (I’ve been loving playing on my Just Dance for the Wii recently, which is a great workout). But only if you are feeling up to it, and do not pressure yourself or make yourself feel bad if you don’t.

Thanks!