Review of 2016 and Hopes for 2017.

2016 started off horrifically. I was in hospital for depression and anxiety at the end of January and lost not just one but two of my best friends (they didn’t die, we just went our separate ways), after this I was in counselling and on medication which didn’t exactly make university and work easy, this difficult period lasted for about four months and left me in a slump. But during this time I discovered that I had friends in places I didn’t expect, my first year at university I didn’t make that much of an effort with people due to low confidence and generally feeling not good enough for people (completely my own issue, the people in my course are all amazingly lovely and didn’t cause me to feel like this in any way). When I confided to people in my university course they all rallied round and helped me feel so loved and cared for which I hadn’t felt in a very long time. I went on nights out with my uni friends, performed in society showcases and went to another society’s formal, I felt better in myself and more motivated to do things.

Summer came around and I started to feel the best I ever had since I can remember. I went on my first holiday overseas, to Paris, without my mum and devoured this new culture. I watched my cousin get married. I ran in the cancer research mud run, which I’ve wanted to do for ages. I saw Fall Out Boy and You Me At Six in concert. And I climbed the tallest mountain in Northern Ireland on my own (not much of an achievement but it really cleared my head). I entered into my third year of uni and things got better from there, I performed in “Jake’s Women” and in a musical theatre showcase, I got a promotion at work, had a party for my 21st and had an amazing Christmas and New Year surrounded by people I loved.

So where does this leave 2017? I welcomed in the New Year while working at an event for the club I work at followed by party at my friends house, in the morning I jumped into the sea for Cancer Focus with friends supporting me and came home to a lovely dinner with my family, so it’s been a good start so far. I’ve had a think about what I’d like to achieve this year and it is as follows:

  1. Be better to my body – in 2016 I discovered I had a very unhealthy relationship with food and exercise, I was not eating enough and exercise far too much for the calories, or lack of, I was taking in. This changed over summer as I discovered a love of food, so naturally (and thankfully) I gained weight. But now I want to focus on having the healthiest body I can. Taking in loads of fruit and vegetables and having a strong body. My mum bought me a yoga mat on the 1st January and I’ve started my mornings doing a quick 10 minute yoga routine, so I hope to keep this up.
  2. Challenge myself – I have a couple of ideas how to do this. I’ve signed up for Italian lessons, gotten an audition slot for a musical and plan to sign up for some runs.
  3. Go on more adventures – I’ve already booked a holiday to see my friend in Liverpool next week and I’m hoping to go on a holiday with my university friends at the end of this university year as it is our final year together. Other than that I just want to explore everywhere I can as much as possible, and take as many photos as I can.
  4. Sing more – I am on my second diploma in singing and I love doing it, so I’m going to look for ways I can do this more.
  5. Read more – whether it’s books about my course, books about space or geography, or even fiction books. I want to broaden my knowledge and reading is a good way of doing this.
  6. Blog more – Writing my thoughts down or being creative always helps me feel less stressed.
  7. SAVE MONEY – this is more a demand to myself, rather than a hope that I’ll do this. I am planning to do a masters degree in 2018, but the course I want is in London so it’ll be expensive for me to live there and pay for tuition which is why I need to start saving now.
  8. Make it the best year possible – everyone has crappy times, sadly it’s not something we can really avoid, but I want to throw myself into this year and make the most amazing memories I can make.

What we wear.

Magazines. Television. Radio. People on the street. People can’t seem to keep their mouth shut about what people are wearing. As a woman three things effect my decisions on what I wear and they are: the weather (a very important one in Northern Ireland), where I am going, and what I personally feel like wearing. I have learnt to tune out that fourth voice which is others peoples opinion because it doesn’t matter, as long as I am not harming someone else it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter what I am wearing. I am talking about this particularly in two ways: if I decide to wear something more daring and out there, and if I show a lot of skin, the latter gets into a bit more dangerous territory but I am going to talk about both as I am feeling rather irritated at this moment in time about this topic.

Today while I was waiting for a taxi to collect my friends and I from a night out in a club, so we went to a chinese take away to have a bite to eat and have to somewhere warm to wait. This man, about my age, decided he had the right to touch my back as I was wearing a backless dress. When I turned round to tell him I didn’t like that and didn’t want him touching me he replied cheekily and continued to do it. I turned round again and told him again with a slight more aggressive tone in my voice, it was then he decided to punch me in the back when I turned around – this isn’t appropriate, not that I have to tell anyone that. Your clothes do not give anyone the right to do anything to you that you don’t want them to.

In my life I have had severely people, both men and women, comment on clothes I wear on a night out, whether it’s commenting on how much skin I’m showing or simply because they don’t like the outfit. I personally wouldn’t mind if my friend told me these comments as I know they have my best interests at heart and they know I wouldn’t mind it – however other people may be different, but if you’re a stranger you don’t have any right to do that, it just makes you an unpleasant human. Your clothes do not give anyone the right to comment if they don’t know you.

If you feel good in something, wear it, don’t let other opinions change your mind. Clothes can be a way to express yourself, they don’t make you a “slut” or a “prude” they just show your taste in fashion. Your clothes don’t label you, people do.

My favourite exercise apps! 

Recently I’ve been finding it hard to get motivated to exercise, which is a big problem as I have a half marathon in just over 2 months. So I turned to apps on my phone as a source of motivation and I think it’s working so far!

I have three apps which I’ve been going to, I’ve tried and tested a lot of others but these are the three I believe work the best:

1. Pacer


This app is free, but does have some in app purchases if you choose to buy them, it is basically an on phone pedometer and tracks your steps daily. You can monitor your improvements over the course of a week and it’s a really simple way to get your daily steps up, it’ll encourage you to take the stairs instead of the lift in order to reach your daily goal (it’s recommended you make it 10k steps).

2. Charity Miles


I’ve only very recently gotten this app but it’s become such a quick favourite it’d be a shame not to include it. Charity Miles is an app which has companies donating to charity for every mile you walk, run or cycle. If anyone who has read this blog before you’ll know how much I love running and charity work so naturally this app is perfect for me. It’ll encourage you to go that little bit further to get more money for the charity you choose and it lets you choose a different charity (from their wide range of charities) each walk, run or cycle so you can spread the love everywhere, and be introduced to new charities along the way. 


3. Pokemon Go!


This wouldn’t be a post about apps if I didn’t mention the incredibly viral Pokemon Go! I love this app for several reasons 1. It’s nostalgic, 2. It’s incredibly social for a mobile game and 3. It gets me walking. Pokemon Go gives me the motivation to get out there and walk to either find Pokemon or hatch those eggs:


(Side note I hatched a 10K egg, 5k egg and 2k egg this morning and got a bulbasaur, mr mime and rattata)

This game is so much fun to play and I’ve walked so far and in so many different locations because of it!

The great thing about these three apps is that you can use them all together and it means you can get a rush after exercising when you see how much you’ve walked/ raised/hatched eggs! I would recommend all apps to everyone and anyone! If you need motivation like I sorely did, download them! 

I was brave today.

I know when you read that title you’ll think I’ve done something monumental and live changing, but no, I uploaded a video of me singing to Facebook. 

I know this may not seem like a massive fear or anything of significance but to me it’s showing how far I’ve come from as little as 6 months ago. Despite my love of singing I never would have thought of showing anyone, despite people on my Facebook being my friends. I’m proud of myself today and that I didn’t let my low self esteem get the better of me today. Here’s the link in case anyone’s interested in listening: https://www.facebook.com/OriaMurray/posts/10204774464361828


Thanks! 

Projecting positivity.

I used to be the girl who’s Tumblr was full of sad, depressing posts about how I was feeling. It was a way of expressing myself in what, I thought, was the best way possible of dealing with my feelings, not that it can’t be for some just for me it wasn’t healthy, that was until I saw this post randomly pop up on my Facebook one day:

 

I know it’s not a revolutionary idea but I like the concept of projecting positivity into the world in order to make other people and yourself feel better. I’m not claiming it’s cured my depression and I feel 100% happy all the time now, I’m saying I feel a lot better. I post happy quotes now and again to my Instagram, share happy stories on my Facebook and send my friends photo’s of puppies if I think they’re having a ruff day (pardon the pun in was disgraceful, but I’m leaving it in).

I would love to challenge everyone to do a full seven days of posting positive quotes, stories or even pictures. If you don’t feel better from it then you can go back to posting things you normally post, but you can almost be sure you made someone else smile and if you do feel better from it then keep on doing it! The world could use some positivity in it!

(Just a disclosure if you genuinely think looking through happy quotes when you are down would make you feel worse then don’t do it, this is just something that helps me and I thought I’d share)

The Now.

I would like to express that the last few months have been hard. They have challenged me both mentally and physically and I struggled greatly. My mental state wasn’t great, a few bad things happened in my personal life and my work load at university all made it very difficult for me to be happy.

These last few months have also been rewarding as I became closer with friends who have been rocks to me and supported me through this tough time, I have made new friends and put myself out there. I have felt my confidence grow as I learnt to deal with each challenge I faced and have felt more hopeful for the future because of this. To write this with a positive spin on it is something I could have never imagined doing before, I was severely depressed and constantly thought about the negatives in my life. These last few months I have learnt how strong I am as a person and I am glad to be me. If anyone is going through anything similar I would encourage you to talk to a doctor or/and friends and family and not sit in a rut, I did that for years and if recent events had not pushed me to talk I don’t think I ever would have gotten myself out of it.

Now I am proud to be me and you should be proud to be you. Now I am looking to a much brighter future and planning on doing things without fear of other people’s thoughts and opinions. Life is short and I intend on making mine the happiest it can be despite it’s bad start.

 

Daring To Dip!

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My first challenge of 2016 is complete! I ran into the sea on New Years Day for Cancer Focus and it was absolutely freezing (unsurprisingly).

This year I am going to attempt to challenge myself more and more as it gives me an immense sense of pride to complete something outside of my comfort zone, this challenge may only be a small step towards bigger goals but it is a step I’m glad I’ve taken. Not just for charity will I be doing these challenges (although I will try to make quite a few of them help charity) but for myself and becoming a happier and more outgoing person who’s more comfortable with the person they are.

The last half of 2015 was very rough for me and I feel like I need to make up for it by making 2016 the best year that I can. I’m aware there is no difference in a new year, it’s just another year in the socially constructed idea of time, but I do also believe that there is an almost therapeutic experience with sweeping the old year under the rug and welcoming a new one. It leaves all bad experiences and mistakes behind and allows someone to move on with a new chapter in their lives.

Again if anyone wants to donate to cancer focus you can do so here: http://www.cancerfocusni.org/donate/

And if anyone wants to help me with another one of my challenges of doing the marathon in May for Cancer Research you can do so here: https://www.justgiving.com/VictoriaLouiseMurray/

Here are some photos from my first day of this New Year! I hope you all have an amazing one too!

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Thanks!

Fundraising UPDATE

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas.

I have a bunch of events planned out to help raise money for Cancer Research. I am planning to hold a bag pack and street collection early on in the New Year, I am also hoping to hold a raffle for a prize (which I’m planning on being amazing) and my justgiving page is up and running with text donation available (You can text “VICM95 £1” to 70070 if you’re interested in donating).

My marathon training will begin properly in the New Year as I am suffering health wise at the moment, but that still leaves me five months so I am sure I will be fine with that long to train. This appeal is really important to me and I plan to put my all into it, even if it means a few sleepless nights planning.

Thanks!

Update: Marathon training

I realise that the last couple of posts haven’t been about my training at all, and that simple is because I haven’t been able to. My health is suffering quite badly from a number of things so I believe it to be best to leave proper training out for a while until I am recovered (which I am hoping will be soon as I’m actually starting to miss it).

In the mean time I am trying to go to the gym when I feel able but I don’t push myself terribly hard and it’s more just for the enjoyment factor right now rather than actually working out. Training aside I am in talks with cancer research about fundraising ideas and how to raise as much money as I possibly can for the cause through doing the marathon and am hoping to organise a bag pack in the near future. So watch this space!

Thanks!

I made a big decision.

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This morning (literally about an hour ago) I made the huge decision that next May I will be running the full Belfast City Marathon. 26.2 miles. While I have thought long and hard about this decision I don’t think it’s quite sunk in yet, and I am still recovering from an injury I received doing the Belfast Half Marathon six days ago. Never the less I am determined to do this race and have emailed Cancer Research looking to run for the charity again. I am hoping to raise a huge sum of money for them, and as I have a long time to plan I think it is achievable.

This is just a little unplanned update on the decision I made today. A new blog post should be up soon. Thanks!